Self-regulation is a skill. Skills can be taught!
But they also need to be practiced. To help kids manage their emotions and behavior, resist overly emotional reactions, adjust to a change in situations, and effectively calm themselves down, the trick is to not avoid hard situations.
Instead, practice!
Breaking down an activity allows your kids to build self-regulation skills in manageable parts.
You can download this resource HERE.
If your kids have a hard time getting out the door in the morning, break that activity into smaller, more approachable stages.
- Set a time for getting dressed, giving your kids gentle reminders that the time to get dressed is coming up.
- Once they have that down, set a target time for breakfast.
- Then, add putting on shoes and jackets and other small steps.
If your kids find it difficult to leave the store when it’s time to go home, practice going to the store for a shorter amount of time, when you don’t have a lot of shopping to do.
- They can practice walking around with you and getting comfortable in that space.
- Remind your kids what you are shopping for and let them help find those items to put in the cart so they feel needed and involved.
- Let your kids know how helpful they were, and that the trip to the store was better because of their help.
It’s important to praise and encourage your kids as they try new things, no matter how long the process takes! Patience and positive feedback are exactly what your kids need to be successful.
When something does go wrong – as it certainly will while your kids learn and grow their self-regulation skills – try not to get discouraged. Skill-building takes time. Instead, find a calm moment to talk about what went wrong, and why, and how to fix it next time!
Adapted from Child Mind Institute