During the first years of life, when kids’ brains are growing and changing so much every day, how adults interact with them has a huge impact. When done well, gentle parenting builds confidence in young children and forges strong caregiver-child relationships.

Various fun illustrations showing stop lights and a car moving through the different points talking about gentle parenting.

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What it’s Not

Gentle parenting is not permissive parenting. It’s not letting your kids be in charge. It’s not a free-for-all, and it’s not letting your kids do whatever they want.

 

What it Is

Gentle parenting makes kids feel secure, and it benefits kids in many ways.

  • When kids trust their caregivers, they can focus their energy on developing and growing.
  • Young kids often do not have the skills yet to calm themselves down when they are dysregulated. A gentle parenting approach allows parents to be the bridge to regulation for young kids who are still developing those skills.
  • By helping navigate difficult situations in a positive way, the parent-child bond is consistently strengthened.
  • Even when parents fail at parenting gently — because every adult loses their temper sometimes — gentle parenting helps kids feel secure through apology and repair, which not only strengthens bonds, it also lets young kids know that everyone makes mistakes, and shows them a model for apologizing.

 

Gentle parenting is not about perfection. It’s about striving daily to raise kids to function in the world while managing big emotions — and modeling the skills for them to do so.

Gentle parenting is a way of building relationships with your kids that are joyful, have limits, and are loving — all three of these things can be true. You can be firm and kind!

 

*Adapted from ZERO TO THREE